I read Twilight so you don't have to // CHAPTER 7: NIGHTMARE

Bella Googles vampires.

A Summary: After dreaming of Edward and a wolf, Bella wakes up unsettled and begins researching vampires online. Does this take the entire chapter? Nearly.

Other Observations:

I hate the way Stephanie Meyer is obviously thinking of a specific band but can’t name it—copyright or whatever—so we get this vague, filler-y description instead. It feels like she’s hoping we’ll guess who it is instead of just inventing a cool fake band and committing.

!!!!!!! UPDATE (i just asked google) !!!!!!!

Like. Girl. That is so wild to me. Bella was listening to HYBRID THEORY: the Linkin Park album I’m pretty sure my older brother had on CD when I was like eleven. Stephanie thinks they’re “quite cool.” That is so funny. This is amazing.

My Thoughts:

I’m going to spare you as much as I am physically able, because this chapter is filler, baby. We get some “cozy” moments of Bella wandering in the forest alone, sitting in the yard on a blanket and reading (love a good lizarding day), cooking dinner, searching the early-2000’s internet, listening to an album (lol) all the way through, etc. But lord is it a time-waster. No wonder this book is so thick.

Bella wakes up from another dream, this time it’s about Edward and a mysterious wolf (we love the “waking up from a dream to illustrate the inner turmoil of her mind” trope). Ever since Jacob told her about the legendary Cullens, she decides to do what any sensible person would do, and she boots up her chunky 2000’s computer to search for answers.

Girl needs an ad blocker, because a lot of her vampire-searching is spliced with paragraphs of her computer crashing. She even has time to go downstairs to make a bowl of cereal as it boots up. It’s a nostalgic little throwback, but is it a necessary one?

Anyway, she researches vampires for way too many pages:

And then takes another couple of pages to walk into the rainy forest (BY HERSELF) to think. We get her inner monologue as she debates whether or not the Cullens could actually be real-life vampires.

That’s it. You’re welcome. Moving on to school where we get -gasp- the same interactions between Bella and her classmates!

Edward’s absent again. Bella responds with poise and grace:

And then?

That’s. Literally. It. 22 pages of nothing. Oh well. We’ll always have Linkin Park.

Thanks for joining me this week!*

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